


A Green Menace

by megiaolf



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Don't Ask, M/M, Phil produces flora, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-07-02 12:26:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15796509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megiaolf/pseuds/megiaolf
Summary: Phil produces plants out of thin air. It's mostly endearing. Mostly.





	A Green Menace

A vine wrapped itself around Dan’s middle and tugged him back to bed. He tried to wiggle out but it was no use. It grew thicker and stronger in front of his eyes as Phil’s frown grew deeper. His hand flopped around where Dan’s head was supposed to be until it finally hit skin and he cracked a single eyelid in question.

“I need to fucking pee, mate,” Dan muttered. This was getting ridiculous.

Phil smiled apologetically and the vine retreated back into the darkness behind him. Dan shook his head in exasperation.

“You knew what you were getting into,” Phil said when Dan came back to bed.

“I was young and naive. I was taken advantage of.”

“Aw. Do you want a refund baby?” Phil asked teasingly as a particularly slender branch tickled Dan’s ear.

“Oh fuck off.” Dan swatted at it and dove under the covers to hide. Phil giggled until a well-placed kick to the shin shut him up.

“Unnecessary.” He muttered under his breath and rubbed at his shin with his other foot.

Dan grunted and cuddled in closer when suddenly, something cold and slimy touched his feet.

He yelped and jumped out of the bed. He ran to the other end of the room dragging the covers behind him, screaming his head off. He turned the lights on and stared at the bed with abject horror in his eyes.

Phil looked up at him sheepishly. He was rubbing a slimy substance on his shin. It was watery and colourless and a split open aloe vera leaf was lying on the bed next to him.

Dan was speechless.

“I swear to God Phil. One of these days, if you whip out one more kinky tentacle out of your ass and call it medicinal or whatever you’ve convinced yourself these are to remain in denial about your kinks, I’m going to flip my shit and call NASA on you, you freak of nature.”

“It’s aloe vera. Good for bruises.”

“What fucking bruise?” 

“The one you just put on my leg? Look, it’s turning red.”

“No, it’s not,” Dan said but went to investigate anyway. Sure enough, there was a pale pink mark on his leg. It was barely noticeable but Phil was pouting like Dan had punched a hole into it or something.

“You’re such a drama queen, Phil.” Dan shook his head and retrieved the covers from where he’d dropped them and turned the lights off.

“Says you,” Phil muttered under his breath.

Dan rolled his eyes. He dropped a kiss and mumbled a sorry onto Phil’s forehead and laid back down.

“Don’t wake me up with your kinky shit again.”

“It doesn’t even look like a tentacle. Everything’s kinky with you.” Phil said.

Dan smirked. “I mean, we could try…”

“Spikes, Dan. Literal spikes.”

Dan’s smile grew bigger and more suggestive.

“Jesus Christ,” Phil shook his head in exasperation and turned away. Dan slotted himself against his back.

The velvety texture of a rose petal touched his cheek just as he was about to fall asleep. He smiled.

“Love you too” he muttered into the darkness.

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this idea for a while and I've dreamt up so many scenarios in this au but I was afraid to write this because some people really hate plantboy aus and think it's cringy (don't ask me why I care, I don't exist in a vacuum).
> 
> Anyway, thanks to the fic fest organisers for coming up with awesome ways to challenge authors and to help them come out of their comfort zones.
> 
>  [link to fic on tumblr](https://megiaolf.tumblr.com/post/177388156054/title-a-green-menace-read-on-ao3-rating-general)  
> Come say hi and tell me what you think!


End file.
